What do you have to show for it?

I was soaking in a piping hot bath the other day and like a tribe of whispers was called from the sky, I had a thought that was so loud and obtrusive I could've sworn I audibly heard it. "What do you have to show for it?" I started down the human path of arguing; working out my situation and then I stopped myself (by the grace of God) and asked in return "why do I need to prove anything at all?"

Let me back up.

A favorite way to wind down at night is popping into Netflix or Hulu to play a familiar romantic comedy, preferably one I've seen so many times I can nearly quote the entire film. I started to notice a theme when it came to narrating a single woman's story- she was focused on something other than a relationship. It's usually a career but can also be traveling, living remotely, going back to college, etc. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT? The movie plays out this success story in every regard besides a romantic relationship, and I sat there wondering what it would look like if she didn't have somewhere to point to and say "this is why I am single."

ENTER ME.

I don't have a six figure job to show for it. I don't have a map hanging on the wall with pins and dots and red lines proving where I've been. I'm just single. That's it and that's okay.

The thought trap almost got me. I started thinking how nice it must be to own my home, drive a really nice car, hold down a board meeting, anything that screams I'm-the-hot-and-successful-lead-in-a-popcorn-devouring-rom-com. And all that was missing was my man. But wow, that's so completely not me. I struggle to meet my bills, I have been chasing a music career for eleven years (and will until I die), and most days I look closer to 18 than I do mid thirties... in every (rom com) regard, I do not have my ducks in a row.

And... it really is okay. Struggles, hardship, feeling behind, it's part of life. For me, it's been a majority of my life. And being outrageously single was just the cake topper ( a stand in until I have a real cake topper). HA.

So moral of the story? Singleness isn't the opposite of success. Singleness isn't a file that got set aside for other more important things. And if you don't have anything to show for your singleness? Well, join the club. It's fun here.